I'm not well. It's unjustified.
It's all coming up roses but I miss that agony.
I used to know exactly where the edge is and how many steps I need to take to go over it.
Now I can't see it and my eyes hurt from the fog.

Fuck that,

I'm happy!
I don't just take air into my lungs anymore, I actually Breathe! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for returning that piece of me. It's worth all the parasites eating away my heart before. :)

I actually don't know what to think right now.
Still not exactly sure whether it happened or my imagination has gone wild.
I suppose "normal" people would be.. happy? I'm disappointed. Like this whole year of constant bleeding and my mind becoming a complete mess was pointless, because in the end he actually apologized. The fuck am I supposed to do now? I JUST restored myself, then you show up, stir my numbness and walk out again?

I got that peace of mind that I was craving for, but now I almost wish it never happened..

I love Maggie. I honestly do. People come and go. Some teach you something while they stay, and some are just in the background. It is rare to find someone impossible to care about. She's like that younger sister to talk to that I never had. I've tried everything: telling the truth, exposing my guts and then some more truth. It is still not enough for her to even shrug.

I know you are not reading this, Maggie, but I just want you to know that no matter how much I am capable of, there just isn't going to be a day where you won't be able to reach for my hand if you need it.

Learned two words today!
- precipice
- punitive